You are not doing enough 🤦‍♀️⁣

Jun 02, 2021

You are not doing enough 🤦‍♀️⁣
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I told myself this in June. I felt this heaviness of anxiety and guilt. The familiar voice from the past which I was riddled with for so many years.⁣
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‘I should be back in the UK caring for my sick Mum, I should be doing more to support her, I need to do more, I never do enough, you are selfish’⁣
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This message inside my head replayed again. I felt completely helpless.
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My body contracted and I felt the pull of anxiety grip me, heavy chest, racing heart, I was spiralling.⁣
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Then I realised it wasn’t about not doing enough, it was about me not feeling enough. Ahhh the past belief.
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When I recognised this belief, I could see –⁣
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It was an old belief⁣
I have always and will always be enough⁣
My thoughts are not all true⁣
They are often fear and sadness⁣
I was scared being so far away and unable to get to the UK⁣
I’m scared I’m not there for her⁣
I’m scared I can’t take away her pain⁣
I’m scared I might never get to talk to her in person again⁣
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Here is the truth –⁣
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I cared for my Mum with a brain disease for 7 months in 2019 – it almost broke me. I washed her, dressed her, showered her, cooked for her and gave her more love than I ever thought possible. I learnt more patience than I ever knew existed (something I didn’t think I had), I realised where my strengths and weaknesses are. I have always tried to ‘fix’ things, which is actually impossible. It is never and has never been my job/role to fix anything. I have 0 control over this situation, only how I think and feel about it.⁣
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I am always and have always been enough⁣
I am doing enough⁣
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The mind does not actually know what is truth and what is a lie. The things you tell yourself are not all true. Those racing thoughts, not all true. The overthinking mind – not all true.⁣
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Time to differentiate between the two and stop telling yourself the same stories.⁣
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Tell me where have you felt helpless this year? ⬇️⁣

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