12 Years Ago vs Yesterday

Feb 15, 2022

I used to hide my body at the beach, cover up my legs and stomach because I didn’t want people to see. I hated myself, critiqued everything I wore and picked my body apart. Even on 30+ degree days I would avoid going or I would find something to cover myself up.

All the time living in my head and criticising the shit out of how I looked. My body insecurities ran deep, they perpetuated a yo-yo dieting cycle and self-loathing that lasted 15 years.

The beach - the actual beach where the movie is filmed in Thailand… I wore a dress in the water because I was so afraid people would see my stretch marks and legs 🤦🏽‍♀️

Looking back I feel sad, incredible experiences and moments to treasure were clouded and ruined because of my thoughts and beliefs about myself.

I bought a gstring bikini 3 months ago. It sat in my drawer… gathering dust.

It fell out on Sunday Morning and the voice inside my head went “not today, what will people think, you don’t have the figure to wear that. Another time maybe, people will judge you, that’s only for certain size people, what if people see all your dimples”

I walked away, defeated and sad. 2 minutes later I walked back, determined to heal that sprinkle that deep down believed I shouldn’t wear certain clothes, a gstring, because I wasn’t a size xxx or 'toned and skinny'

Part of me was tempted to take an alternative set… just in case, I backed out at the beach. 😆

I gave myself a pet talk
Loved myself so hard
Used all the tools I teach in soul warrior
Found courage

I swam, lay on my front, walked to the water and I did a courageous gstring dance on the sand to free myself. I felt liberated.

The Next stage share it(big gulp)hit post.

Determined not be held back for another second by my thoughts and beliefs about my body or myself. I get to wear whatever the hell I want!

Don’t let that voice control you for another second.

Charlotte xx

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